Monday, 26 March 2012

My thoughts on pet battles

In Silvermoon City…

Announcer: Please welcome into the ring Trixabelle Felicious Precious Dahling IV, who will be competing against… Smudge? Do we have a non-pedigree entrant? How very… extraordinary.

Owner 1: [slightly hysterically] My Dahling is in the ring with a moggy? An unregistered animal? My Dahling is a purebred mana-Siamese! And she’s pitted against this… this… thing?!

Owner 2: It’s not always about pedigree…

Owner 1: [Lowers sunglasses a fraction] Clearly, in your case it isn’t.

Meanwhile in the ring…
TFPD IV: Does your owner even know what a brush is?

S: [hisses]

TFPD IV: I was washed, carefully, with sprite darter essence. See how my glossy my fur is? That’s a thousand strokes per side, with a brush made from the hairs of Loque’nahak himself. See how my pink nose glistens? That’s because I’m fed on a diet of minced shoveltusk steak. From the looks of you, you eat whatever’s lying around on the floor.

S: [hisses again]

TFPD IV: Can you not speak? Am I expected to converse with something that is only capable of making bestial noises?

S: [arches back and flattens ears] This is a fight, buster, not a grooming competition.

TFPD IV: This is Silvermoon City, dearheart. I suggest if you want to have anything approaching physical contact you get your owner to drag you to the Orc city, post haste. This really isn’t the place for you.

Announcer: And is looks like Trixabelle Felicious Precious Dahling IV is retiring… She’s returning to her owner, and from the tones of those yowls, I’d say she’s protesting about her opponent too. Frankly, who can blame her…

In Orgrimmar…
Announcer: Right, got yer bets placed? In the ring then, ginger vs. tabby. Ready, go!

[fur flies madly for a few seconds]

Announcer: Another draw then? Vets to the ring please. Owners... OWNERS! Were you not asked to leave your axes with the steward…?

In Thunder Bluff…

[chanting]

Announcer: Looks like today’s events will be postponed again, until we can come to some agreement with those fine folks from DEHTA  Sorry folks…

2 comments:

  1. *lol* I love this!

    What about Undercity? Do you think they'd have an issue with people doping their pets?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahahaha!

    Well done, Pilf!

    ReplyDelete

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